One Last Embrace

by Trust Darkness

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truth 01:52
are we slowly being reprogrammed toward the truth from these lies like freedom, these eyes do we need them? are we getting any closer to the day when there'll be no need to stay awake because i'm finally drifting off to sleep this numbness is finally settling in the darkness wins.
apart 02:53
embracing this chaos the sound of decay the violence in this mind this rotting restraint (i knew how i felt by the sound of your heart not long before we were falling apart) I barely sleep as these dreams that haunt me are real this life of such conflict its bridging on the surreal an excess of passion is driving us to collapse and lifetimes, like memories are fading so fast embracing these daydreams the sound of decay is ringing in my ears to drown out dismay a hedonists anthem i'm giving up hope forsaking my promise for just enough rope i barely sleep... so now, darkness embraced because we're all dying anyway the past we shared, we'll both forsake in hopes we'll forget who's to blame i barely sleep...
empty(sin) 02:18
we cannot afford to place blame
night 04:28
in desperation im asking the lightposts to follow me home if i can find the strength to live in this fading winter night these aspirations, this struggling to rise above is burning me through and the flames are leaping i can still see them now as they're taking my eyes again dreams should have stayed in the mentality of i am losing faith ive lost.
eyes 00:59
is this an altar, unyeilding the breking of bread tell stories of dreaming or crying instead so passing around the cup a taste of body, a taste of blood in villifying love a scrap of bread or a bitter cup im closing my eyes
blame 05:45
we're all finally realizing the futility of this speech the laughter, the anger and the hope that we still seek we're all finally seeing with eyes open wide that there's nothing to look at there's nothing to hide and im struggling to remember why i came here why i opened these wounds and im struggling to remember who's to blame here but my memory is fading so soon what is a line of sight bearing down? a weight on shoulders, opened out insects burrow under skin eyebrows furrow at empty sin is this eating itself alive -- this body barely occupied? this body is barely occupied and im struggling to remember why i came here...
choice 02:34
i dont feel anymore i dont think anymore i tried so hard to open up im trying so hard to open up but im only closing doors because... i dont laugh anymore i dont cry anymore and though i claim to be trying im only dying closing doors lying alone because... i dont smile anymore i dont frown anymore this numbness is sinking without even drinking im losing this war because i dont change anymore and i dont grow anymore the choice ive got is between giving in and giving up so im giving up... is this really the only choice ive got?
louder 05:17
my eyes are dying just like every other thing and all thats left in store is this empty little dream this leftist complaint is tying my hands while im trying so hard to be the better man this faith is dying just like every other thing until its dead, ill keep fighting this disease now my hands are dying just like every other thing and all thats left in store is this empty little dream this empty sustain, like trickling sand these struggling restraints to force anothers hand this sunday eyes don't mean anything to me hands bound by tourniquets burning them to set them free this dream is dying just like every other thing and all thats left in store is this cliche disease the lightest of weights has forced my hand and im losing my battle to be a better man
sleep 02:34
is it time for an intermisison from the lie ive been sucking in its all ive been sucking in did i imagine you in this frame of reference? because you're not here but i could swear those songs were about me if this lie would just let me sleep maybe id forget the way you looked at me and i could forget the things you said to me just let me sleep. i can't see a goddamned thing is there a periphery? and where, where am i going because this night is closing in its as if im self destructing out of obligation... its becoming a part of this routine and the sky keeps falling in...
blood 05:16
leaves draw red on green canvas leaves draw blood as demanded fell down to cry on the ground let down, craving a sound there was a time... i promised myself id never be who i am today i promised myself id never let things turn out this way but promises are so easily broken lies are so easily spoken too readily believed summer is over and winter is near winds blow colder with knowledge of fear let down hid under the ground theres still time to preserver this sound there was a time... i lived in hell but saw the glory of the way i lived in hell but never lost sight of the day but now that these words have been spoken it takes strength for habits to be broken and now i can see i still believe but so much pain will drive insane and with all thats happened you look to my eyes for a sacrifice and this is what ive sacrificed this is what ive made of my life where has humility gone what said for watching the dawn why can't i remember the song in winter reborn the summer is scorned we're reminded of its violence winters beauty is subtle its glory is humble
enough 05:11
these eyelids growing heavy by the minute through them you're looking right thru me this rythem growing steady till the finish its proven you're looking right thru me this is an eyesore ive maintained and all thats left in store is restraint these words are empty but they ask for nothing more and im regretting the decision i adored this pain is not mine its not yours we've disguised and divorced the past and tho this was handed down we cannot afford to displace blame but i can't get this out of my head... everything was you but its venting out of my hate i know i've made mistakes was i afraid to go away? you said you'd never change and ill try to get by...
empty(con) 02:08
theres nothing left to hold but these empty ghosts and the only things still binding are all the things i think i know the subtle inconsistencies a mirror's lonely stare all i can do is look back at me i dont have the strength to pretend im still trying to find you but you're already gone the subtle inconsistencies and all these eyes that look at me im trying to find you all thats left is your ghost this is the only way.
fear 05:07
this madness distrusting the wieght of this day this ending we've opened and the hope it conveys Im so tired of words and the way they bind im so tired of hurt and sleepless nights im so tired of tears in eyes open wide im so tired of fears and words that divide do you still believe? because my hope is fading fast underneath the weight of the past and I want to be strong but my hope is fading fast with all this weight from the past these arms aren't quite sharpened they're breaking me open as if barely a skin its made to be broken im so tired of answers to questions so blind im so tired of the weight of this poisonous mind im so tired of you you just wont go away im so tired of embracing this godamned decay do you still believe? because this is all i have left to finish this test and i want to be strong but you were all i had left and now you're gone. I cant quite imagine how it feels to have eyes i just feel so broken maybe its time to resign.
landed 04:09
and im tempted to sleep here to turn and retreat here can i find the strength to face another day? as if my guilt owned me, ive let my pain control me Ive seen how my dreams can pacify... they took my life we all dream of comfort and peace as if it weren't enough to have a place to sleep and i think, as i lie wide awake of what ive wasted consumed by pain we've been resigned to believe in our pain we've been told this is just the way things are while people starve comfort and peace are such nice ways to be and with my eyes closed i see all i want to see but then I open my eyes to this blinding apathy together we have to fight this disease take back our power and fight for community tear down these walls that we call home tear down these walls that make us feel alone because together we're strong.
embrace 04:34
seams breaking for prisons before to show the skin beneath exposed vision unclean expounded these visions we've seen but disbelieved though grown from seeds, a disbelievers peace is this believers peace and days like rains keep falling down on me been seen raking this ocean floor for wisdom we'd seen when we opened our minds to dream from this wisdom we were relieved and my eyes are still calling out to me and the moon drains the sun of its light pulls this one filled with fright towards the dreams he threw away for one last embrace


originally released as a Sleep Deprivation record


released July 1, 2005

tho the form and structure of these songs were
outside my sphere of influence, it can be loosely
said that these were written, performed, and
produced by mt. "night" and "choice" were recorded
in the old basement rochester mn, post fire,
with a single sm57 plugged into the computer that
survived the blaze. the rest of these songs were
recorded in summerish 2004.

random minicassette recordings were mostly done in
eau claire, wi with scotti j (little did he know).
random voices adapted and twisted from generic
hypnosis scripts.

"blood" was originally a relative song titled
"leaves draw blood" it died at yabuts, salt lake city.
"landed" was extrapolated from the relative song
"landing" from their self titled cd (lmr008).
the rest will be left to your imagination. needless
to say, this is an effort to close the door on this
part of my life. im keeping my fingers crossed, but
im not holding my breath.


all rights reserved



Trust Darkness Seattle, Washington

aka Sleep Deprivation aka __mt__ aka mikeyT... a drummer with a guitar, trying to figure out what to do with himself in his late 30s.

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