1. |
One Morning in November
03:20
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bladerunner sky
excuses decide
wind blown ash
from the forests on fire
an old enemy held
close to my chest
fire in my throat
if to quiet my head
but i still can't forget
what the newcomer said
"you keep comin back"
i know
we've been sick
for so long
you can taste it
lying tastes so good
hiding tastes so good
hurting tastes so good
after so long
living in faith
we know
we're all sick
it grows so strong
you can taste it
fighting tastes so good
crying tastes so good
dying tastes so good
after so long
living in faith
woke from the dream
just as sober as you went to sleep
a tinge of regret; sheets soaking wet
freight train runnin through the middle of my head
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2. |
Wrecked Hearts
03:23
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On a moonlit night
in a trace-like state
with a gut punched love
and a guilty gait
behind a douglas fir he waits
while my body hesitates
fear is just what i need
to break these chains
to fill this need
and i don't think that this will mean that much
but a wrecked heart still needs to touch
He touches my face
his hands feel so strong
and it feels foreign
but it doesn't feel wrong
my bones have yearned for this
as i lean into his kiss
the song in the dream said
that "you share my name when you share my bed"
but i don't think my name is worth much
and a wrecked heart still needs to touch
but i miss you so much
you couldn't have been here with me
to feel this change
and i couldn't have come home to you
smelling of his aftershave
i've struggled with these feelings for most of my life
and this is just one night
I'm seeing through new eyes
it's like they're not mine
and these moons are so bright
fear is just what i need
to shed this shame
to feel relief
and i don't think that this will change that much
but a wrecked heart still needs to touch
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3. |
Naked Snowfalls
04:09
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all these nights unfold
and then you're walking home
through trash strewn streets
and you wonder why you roamed
to a city so cold
from a country that carried you
in arms of rivers
arms of forests
bluffs that towered
over farms that are gone
and they say that you can't go home
but i don't know that I ever really felt at home
still friends that spread like seeds
from a wide armed maple tree
will have to be enough for me
names on concrete
naked snowfalls
she sold the house now there's
nowhere left to look for what's missing
the city's empty hearts
we were sleeping in train cars
we can't dream, so we'll just drink
to days gone by
but i don't want to live in the past
so open your heart, take a chance
so all these nights unfold
and then you're walking home
through trash strewn streets
and if footfalls echo back
and remind you of the past
just keep on walking
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4. |
Decembers Drive
02:44
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We drove through the blinding snow
Cars buried by plows
the suburbs quiet
the city skyline
is a gauzy, twinkling dream
I knew i could not do forever
but I wanted to believe
the snow was only getting deeper
and the roads were freezing
Try to hold my heart
in your hands so gently
and I'll dream of forgiveness
if only from myself
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5. |
How and Where You Are
03:13
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I was wrong for not telling you
How much pain I'd been in
I was wrong for not stopping you
From leaving like you did
Even if it wouldn't have changed
Any goddamned thing
You deserve better
Than either of us could give
Last night
I looked up at the stars
Wondered where and how you are
I'm wishing you well from here.
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6. |
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the theatre has a special showing
on the one night I got out of the house
outside the movie, it is snowing
and my hands tremble from the cold
these people's eyes are glassy
and I can't see through their smiles
can i borrow your gloves
i can see my breath
i can't hear your voice
and this does not feel quite right
no, nothing feels just right
if the timelines of our lives could be
packaged up just like this old film
we could put it away, forget how it ends
maybe run off to australia
but given the choice
i'd still turn down the lights
and get lost in the show
in a hail of bullets
the frame freezes
a future we'll never know
can i borrow your gloves
i can see my breath
i can't hear your voice
and this does not feel quite right
can i borrow your hands
mine don't work quite right
and i don't trust my eyes
and this does not feel quite right
nothing feels just right
the smell of cigarette smoke and snow
on your jacket as you came back home
a longing i was too ashamed to show
so as he sang, i've gotta go
ill hide in the arms of
lovers i'll never know
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7. |
Symptoms Include
05:33
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this madness distrusting
the weight of one day
this ending we've opened
and the hope that remains
I'm so tired of words
and the way they bind
I'm so tired of fears
and sleepless nights
as if nothing is forgiven,
just guilt held tight
for memories that are missing
nowhere left for them to hide
transit confronts me
with ads that diagnose my mental health
symptoms include
what we all feel
or so i tell myself
but im tired of feeling lonely
on a crowded train
do you still believe
i once clasped your hand
it made me understand
that i want to be strong
but this life is so short
and this night is so long
I feel the way grow heavy on my weary eyes
and though darkness plagues every one of us
it's what one of us trusts in
and as he falls to the floor
loses the will to live
and he turns in
eye contact
across the aisle
(I feel the way grow heavy on my weary eyes)
please reach out
i've no strength to smile
(darkness plagues every one of us)
walls knocked down
can bridge old gulfs
(its what one of us trusts in)
inside us all `
(i'm not giving in)
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8. |
Three Moons
03:38
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Clasped hands on a quiet evening
behind boarded windows and doors
The glow of the streetlights bathes the sky
For those still outside
We once had a dream long ago
We let it sleep never to bleed never to grow
Now the days replace days without hope
The days replace days and we know
We have no strength
so we stay
With our fears
Still we pray
three moons rise above the mountains
colors vividly remind
imagination can breed hope
where there was no hope to find
in these strange landscapes
we'll lock eyes,
you'll see that i have faith
in what we'll grow to be
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9. |
Trash Strewn Beach
01:26
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All these months unfold
and you're walking alone
on a trash strewn beach
and you finally feel at home
on the wrong atlantic coast
as if africa could set you free
watch them pull the nets in
the smell of the fresh fish
like a goat in a baobab
he's poised, he's balanced, he's ready
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10. |
Guilt Is Not Hope
05:05
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are these the same eyes
that once looked up with wonder
at the ever changing skies?
and are these the same hands
that once laid stone
to build something tangible on this land?
is this just growing old
or can we hope for something better
than our parents chose?
because this was not our plan
but sometimes you just have to work from where you stand
so lets start laying stone
instead of digging ourselves into deeper holes
I'm sorry I said that guit is hope
I did not know
The foundation just gets deeper
as addictions grow
I did not know
We built ourselves a life
of brown and bitter spite
and we did not mind
We opened up the veins
of our young and hopeful eyes
and we did not mind
But I can't live this way anymore...
If I apologize for leaving you behind
Would you apolgize for dying?
In that winter that you felt such discontent
and drank yourself to death
I got your message
not in a bottle, it came in a dream
i know there's nothing I could have done
to save your life
in this or any timeline
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11. |
One of Us Trusts
04:58
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As I'm forced to validate myself once again
I haven't got much family left
I'm not sure if these people are my friends
depending on titles, accomplishments,
and artifacts left behind
trust you'll find me many nights alone
on the floor, crying
as I travel down this path I've come so many times
I feel the way grow heavy on my weary eyes
you know the darkness plagues every one of us
I'm just like one of us who fights it alone
but that's no way to live
you don't have to do it all on your own this time
you just have to go alone
I know this is not the end
though this night is long and dark as hell
my own past has seen longer and darker
and worse yet in the stories i've heard folks tell
the collective recall is it faith or none at all?
we're not alone, lest we convince ourselves
I try not to go looking for home
because there's nothing there, but some less traveled roads
some paths we walked in twos and threes
before we felt the pain, what its like to be free
I try to stop when I'm still on the road
to watch these beautiful sunsets
pray to the darkness we trust in
there's still room for trust, and you know me
and i'm still listening
and i said
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12. |
Pretend Fingerprints
04:23
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I hand you the names of the dead
And I say this is my excuse
You reply, who are they?
You throw it away
Back 5 years from home
That pretty glass globe
The one you broke
Or the girl you always thought you’d get to know
She died 20 years ago
Am I standing barefoot in snow?
Is this numb only from cold?
I can’t tell where the earth ends
And I begin
And I begin to sing a song that I forgot
And then its lost again
Many miles down the road
Dinner every night alone
And the tragedies you thought would break you
Have really maybe brought you home
Am I standing barefoot in snow?
Is this numb only from cold?
I can’t tell where the earth ends
And I begin
And I begin to sing one of the songs we left behind
When a good friend died
we thought this pain we shared was everything we had
but now i believe we're much more than that
You can pretend fingerprints
All you want
But there’s what we are
And what we’re not
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Trust Darkness Seattle, Washington
aka Sleep Deprivation aka __mt__ aka mteb, mikeyT, other names... a drummer with a guitar, trying to figure out what to do with himself in his early 40s.
Trust Darkness recommends:
David's records are one of the reasons I started recording music by myself in the first place. He's still singing his truth, however uncertain.
go to album
An old friend who is honest and vulnerable in his writing, and kind and caring in his words.
go to albumIf you like Trust Darkness, you may also like:
Their name is misleading: Nebraska group Uh Oh deliver delightfully raucous, guitar-driven rock & roll with rootsy hooks for days.
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A Stranger That You Met Before
by A Day Without Love
A love letter to the DIY music scene.
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featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 28, 2020
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Psych-rock mysticism meets fingerpicked folk on the Ohio five-piece’s vibrant new endeavor.
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